Do you struggle with anger? Do you have a temper? Do you have “flare ups” if something makes you mad? How do you act when you bang your elbow into a clothes rack at the store? What’s your reaction when your four-year-old asks you repeatedly to take him to the park “right now?” I grew up in a home where tempers flew around like crazy. If someone made you mad, you were supposed to “let them have it” and give them a piece of your mind. What a terrible way to live!
I had to learn how to have genuine self-control (which I still don’t always have!) It took time. It took practice. But the thing that BY FAR helped me the most, was posting every Scripture I could find that dealt with anger all over my house… and fridge and car. Multiple times a day I was reminded of what a foolish man does versus the ways of a wise man. These verses had a huge impact on me and helped me break the destructive cycle of being a “hot head.” “Flare-ups” are ungodly and shows that a person is out of control/ has no self-control.
The first step to allowing God to do a work in your heart is to admit your sin to Him. Don’t try and hide it or pretend it doesn’t exist. (Proverbs 28:13) Admit to it and ASK God for help. God’s hears the prayers of the righteous and He WANTS you to overcome anger/ meanness/ tempers. If your children grow up seeing one of their parents get heated when tough things happen, they’ll do the same thing… and that’s sad, you don’t want that. What you do affects the little ones that ARE watching you.
Post these Scriptures all over your house and read them many times a day. They will help tremendously! Go through your Bible and highlight them yourself. Pray daily for self-control, that you would truly learn temperance, learn to tame your tongue, and learn to be even-tempered & calm when the going gets tough.
(All words in parenthesis, underlined, all caps, italicized, etc were made that way by me for emphasis reasons only, this is not the way they appear in the Bible).
“He that refraineth his lips is wise. In the multitude of words there wanteth (lacks) not sin.” Proverbs 10:19
“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterward.” Proverbs 29:11
“An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.” Proverbs 29:22
“Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? There is more hope of a fool than of him.” Proverbs 29:20
“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” James 1:19
“He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good.” Proverbs 16:20
“Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit (is better) than he that taketh a city.” Proverbs 16:32
“Keep thy tongue from evil.” Psalm 34:13
“Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.” Ecclesiastes 5:2
“A fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.” Ecclesiastes 5:3
“He that is soon angry (quick-tempered) dealeth foolishly” Proverbs 4:17a
“He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly” Proverbs 14:29
“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous (harsh) words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
“Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9
“Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.” Matthew 15:11
“Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.” Ephesians 4:32
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29
“Let all bitterness and (all) wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you.” Ephesians 4:31
“the ornament of a meek (gentle) and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price (precious).” 1 Peter 3:4 (A meek spirit is of great price to God).
“Suffer (allow) not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin.” Ecclesiastes 5:6a (Don’t let your mouth cause you to sin!)
“Whatsoever things are true… honest… just… pure… lovely… of good report; if there be any virtue (anything virtuous), if there be any praise (anything praiseworthy), THINK ON THESE THINGS.” Ephesians 4:8
“But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.” Colossians 3:8 (This includes swearing or vulgar words).
“He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.” Proverbs 13:3
“He that is cruel troubleth his own flesh.” Proverbs 11:17
“It is an honor for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.” Proverbs 20:3
“The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.” Proverbs 19:11 (I love this one, defer your anger and it’s to your honor to overlook a transgression someone has done to you… overlook it!)